I suppose that college really is a time of transition for everyone, a time where everyone is figuring out where they are going and who they are becoming as a person, where their place is in the world. I really had quite an easy transition into college life, as for the past few years of high school I had become fairly independent and was not spending a lot of time at home anymore.
What I am truly struggling with at the moment is the feeling that I really am torn between two different worlds: that of the one I left in Pleasanton and that of the one that I go back to for nine months every year at Sonoma State. It's not like I feel like one can only exist in one of these places at a time, but I am definitely struggling with the feeling that the people in each of these places only exists within that setting- and I want the people in my life to be a part of my whole life, not just half of it. I don't know if this is a wrong feeling to have? I feel like I am the same person whether I am at home or at school, so that is definitely not the dillema.
This is definitely something I have not experienced before; for the most part, I had many of the same friends through middle school (and some even from elementary!), and had not moved since I was about eight.
I guess what it comes to is this: I love everyone in my life so much that I feel I am letting them down when I don't keep in contact with them well enough when I'm on the "other side" (sonoma or pleasanton). But at the same time- I've been finding that even when I haven't kept good contact, I still share a good connection with my best friends when we are reunited. If we want the friendship to last, it will. Time and distance may make it harder, but they cannot make it impossible.
This entry made no sense. But neither do my thoughts. Bah hum bug.
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